*didn't feel like proofreading this so sorry if it's incomprehensible.
So anyone who know me knows how much I love dogs. I love them equally to people. I love them more than a lot of people. Call it a character flaw if you must but whatever. So here is the story of this past weekend and the new dog in my life.
On Sunday I went to a waterfall/rock colony with my friends. It was a nice day so there were at least 70 cars parked along the dirt road (rather the the usual total of zero cars parked there) and just as we got out there was a mass exodus of hippies and App students coming up the hill from the trail who told us to get back in the car because the police were towing every single car (for no good reason mind you, as it was in the middle of nowhere, people go here every year, and there are no signs barring one from parking where ever the eff they please). Now I'm not gonna tell this whole story but basically we got back in the car and tried to leave and were impaired in our quest to do so by several of the rudest, most inconsiderate, asshole cops I've ever met in my life, and 5 tow trucks, which poorly hitched cars to their trucks and dragged them down the dirt road at a diagonally, through ditches (nearly breaking axels) against tree stumps, rocks, and branches causing extreme damage to the paint. This left the hikers who didn't know they were being towed, stranded with no vehicle and no cell service, the hikers who were getting to their cars as the cops arrived were slapped with 230 dollar tickets. Ok so I did end up pretty much telling the whole story. But since we didn't get to go hiking we ending up going to a dam/swimming hole where you could jump off into the river. Well I did that because there were some very cute boys and they were flirting with us and I guess I was trying to look like a badass (it worked) [except] I almost drown because despite the boys claims that the water "wasn't cold at all"  it was. My body kind of went into shock and I could swim fine but I couldn't breathe. I'm prone to hyperventilating really badly when I cry hard enough and it takes me a long time to be able to control my breathing. Come to find out, I didn't jump out far enough and almost bashed my head on the rocks. In fact I was so close, that everyone who saw me jump thought that I died, until they saw me come out of the water. On the bright side, a bunch of cure boys were concerned for my safety and brought me a towel and shoes and told me I was awesome.
Fun day.
BUT WAIT? wasn't this story about a puppy?! Welllll....
when I got cell service again there were several missed called from the boyfriend. When I called back he said he had big news.

Meet Blue. This little guy is a six week old Blue Heeler puppy who was abandoned at a gas station between Damacus, VA and Mountain City, TN. Tyler planned on getting him some health care because Little Puppy's stomach was hugely swollen with worms and parasites. Tyler had no intentions of keeping him but he didn't stand a chance. As soon as he pulled into the gas station Blue came out from hiding under a car wagging his tail, looking right at him. Tyler had been planning on getting a dog for a while. He stayed the night at Tyler's [no pets allowed] apartment. Till we could take him to the vet Monday morning. Blue didn't want to do anything but be held by Tyler, not me or me roommate. He wanted to cuddle with Tyler and whined when he wasn't in his arms. We gave him a special bath of peroxide, baking soda and dish soap to make sure he didn't have fleas. The puppy cried so much. I think it was just cold and he was scared. But hearing his little guy cry nearly killed Tyler. We hadn't even named him because Tyler didn't want to get too attached in case the puppy was unhealthy and might die. Nonetheless, when the puppy cried, Tyler fought back tears HARD, he tried to hide his face so my roommate and I wouldn't see his red face, gritting his teeth (as if he were in physical pain), with tears in his eyes. 

We took the little guy to the vet as soon as they opened and after peeing on the exam table and having an unpleasant experience due to the number of things inserted in his butt without his permission, all the new puppy wanted to do was this:

                                        

He got his deworming meds and a clean bill of health. He wasn't running a fever, he wasn't dehydrated, he was eating and drinking well. Tyler's parents agreed to keep the puppy till he moved into his new place in August. We named him BlueDog, after LouDog, (or Louie) the icon of Sublime, the lead singer's dog. 

Tyler and Blue had been together for two days, and they were already best friends. I was grateful to have a best friend for Tyler that he could really love unconditionally to help with his anxiety and depression. The vacine shot they gave Blue at the vet made him really sleepy so the two of them just cuddled in the sunshine all day. 

And now the bad news: Tyler's mom called yesterday to tell him that Blue got sick. He has parvovirus. It's lethal. The odds used to be pretty bad and 9 out of 10 dogs with parvo would die. But within the last couple years it's gotten better. The vet in Bristol said blue had a 70% chance of survival. But Tyler has notoriously bad luck. He's terrified that he'll lose his new best friend. Blue has to stay at the vet for 3 to 6 days because the infected animals will often take a step forward and two steps back. It can come back after it appears to be under control. Tyler spent last night crying his eyes out. I'm spending today writing a six page paper for him before 4 o'clock. The paper is about responsible pet ownership. He tried to do it last night but as you would imagine he was too torn up, so I offered. Here's hoping little Blue makes it. He's doing well today but we'll see. 

So that was my week. Off to class and the library to write this thing. Hopefully I'll find time to eat real food that isn't terrible for me. 

Ok, So I'm sitting here watching Parks and Recreation* so please be understanding if this post doesn't make any sense. Tonight I've eaten bagel bites and a pop tart for dinner, as I have been having some weird cravings so I'm not exactly on top of things. So much for that beach body. Which I don't understand why I was even trying to attain because I'M NOT EFFING GOING TO THE BEACH THIS SUMMER. Oh but my parents are. Without me. Anyway here are some thoughts I had a while ago.

These are just some wildflowers in a field. I saw this field just dense with these things and I had to stop and take a picture.  I absolutely love yellow flowers. Whether they're bold, purposely placed daffodils in a vase or delicate, faint weeds in some overgrown grass. I almost ran off the road a few times staring at these because it's just this dainty little blanket of yellow spread out across this tall green grass and it is such a beautiful testament to spring and the warm weather. I've never even liked spring as a season. Allergies and rain and crap. But I guess I look at it now as a prelude to summer and soon there will be trips to the drive-in theater and the lake and late nights and shitty music on the radio. Another thing about images like this is that they remind me of The Creator. I've rarely been to church at all since August. It's an uncomfortable feeling. I desperately want my faith and I'll cling to it with everything I have but it's facing some pretty string opposition. I don't think that I could ever doubt the existence of a creator though. And in the face of awe-inspiring nature, it seems as though creation is deeply cared for and loved. If a few weeds can paint a hillside with their color and be considered beautiful then maybe I can find beauty in other things as well. I'll try to remember this blanket of yellow when a blanket of yellow pollen covers my car, stops up my nose and makes me curse nature.

sidebar: I just realized that's spelled like re-creation. Huh. Waddya know.

Here We Go...

I've tried to blog before, but I've always been terrible at keeping journals and such so we'll see how I do this go 'round. I have titled this blog "Miracle of Consciousness", a) because every other URL I wanted was taken and b) because I am a nerd and when in doubt I quote John Green: "Life is about engaging as deeply as possible in the miracle of human consciousness".  It is my intention to fill this blog with positive grateful posts, because life is too short, and we are given too much to act like the whiny little bitches we are. I had a tumblr once and (as tumblrs so often are) it was filled with sad and angry posts (it was used as my emotional dumping ground) so I got rid of that whole mess. I hope this blog improves my writing skills as well because it is among my secret fantasies to be a writer alas I suck at writing. When I read Ernest Hemmingway and Sylvia Plath and F. Scott Fitzgerald and  T.S. Eliot and Virginia Wolfe and E.E. Cummings and Henry David Thoreau I can't help but be overcome with awe and envy. I so badly to compose a sentence so beautiful that one must read it slowly. I want to make a sentence that makes you feel like you are sitting alone in the sunlight in a quite place. I can't describe how I feel when I read one of *those* sentences but I know it when I feel it. I absolutely love the written word.
So here is where I will store my attempt at uplifting paragraphs to remind myself that I am given the gift of human consciousness and I will try to put some [poetic?] words together to do it justice.